The verbs 'Love' and 'Grieve' are always in present tense when it's genuine.

So my mom just rang me, she told me that she dreamt of my dad last night.

In her dreams, dad was about to give mom a divorce paper. My mom, clueless, asked my dad what was it all about. He answered her question with another question, "Why didn't you come?". Still clueless as hell, my mom couldn't respond, "Heh?".

.......................................................................

It's been 8 years now that she lost him. Every Friday, she has a routine of coming to her late husband's grave to bring him flowers.

These last two weeks, mom has been really charged with work so she had to miss her Friday routine.

So when mom told me that story, I asked her an almost rhetorical question, "You really did love him, didn't you?"

And she was able to respond, "Present tense."

After the whole (absurd) 'dead-husband-filing-for-a-divorce' dream of my mom's, I can't think of anything but this:

Even when you already lost someone, you still have the fear of losing them. I mean, for real, does that even make sense?

Conversation between Psychoanalysis rookies

Int. Amphitheater - "Mech. of the unconscious mind" morning lecture

B: This dude always has something to say about people. What does he have to say about himself?

T: Who? Freud? Well, that he's awesome.

B: That smug son of a bitch.

Us and holding accountable

Kalo orang udah pernah ada di satu point dimana ngga ada sesuatu/seseorang yang bisa disalahin, baru dia bisa ngomong kalo itu adalah masa tersulit untuk ngambil keputusan. Kampret. Itu baru namanya between a rock and a hard place.

Ergo, SEMUA manusia itu perlu sesuatu/seseorang untuk disalahin.

Tapi, manusia itu paling pinter untuk nyari sesuatu/seseorang untuk disalahin, dan mereka SELALU dapet sesuatu/seseorang untuk disalahin.

Jadi....... *balik ke paragraf pertama dan ngebaca lagi* kalo kita udah pernah ada di point dimana kita tidak menemukan sesuatu/seseorang untuk disalahin....... is that a way of saying that we're getting wiser?

Let me take you on a ride

"The spinning top made a sound like a train across the valley. Fading, oh so quiet, but constant till it passed. Over the ridge into the distances, written on your ticket to remind you where to stop and when to get off..."

The Build Up - Kings of Convenience & Feast

I've always noticed that what people is going through in life has always been associated with some kind of ride, a train ride particularly. Amazingly, every time I hear a song with an association of life-train ride in the lyrics, it never ceases to awe me, and get me thinking. I know what I'm about to write is way obvious or cliché or whatever, but I just can't hold the urge to peel off the poetic association of life-train ride. So this is my attempt in Philosophy for dummies.

PLEASE VALIDATE YOUR TICKETS I once imagined not having a ticket and just get on the train without knowing the destination. At first, it seems exciting, not knowing where you're going, but then I got to thinking. I wouldn't really want to get on a train without knowing the destination beforehand. I surely wouldn't want to spend the whole ride figuring out or worrying if I were going to the right direction. This part, I could relate to goals, plans and hopes that people have. The excitement of not knowing where you're going, it doesn't last, heck it never lasts. Everyone wants to know where they are going eventually.

BUSINESS OR PLEASURE? Traveling always has its purpose. Imagine not having a purpose in life.

BAGGAGE CLAIM In a train, we see people who only carry a bag, people who pack light, people charged with baggages. Light or heavy, they always have something with them. In the dear real life, I believe our baggages are our problems and issues. When we travel, we decide how to pack our baggage. It's not the itinerary that decides how to pack, neither the travel agency, but us. Kinda hit me hard, it came to me pretty clear that problems and issues are created by ourselves. You can blame the universe all you want for all the bad things that happened to you but the universe probably had nothing to do with it in the first place. So I guess those people who don't know how to pack light are... drama queens? Passengers travel with baggages. People live with problems and issues. Heavy or light, well I guess that's for us to decide.

MOTION-SICKNESS Well, as cliché as it's imagined, what we're going through in life.. it ain't always pretty. Some time people can't take the speed the train is moving in. So there may be some vomiting or nausea in there. But then....

LOOK OUT THE WINDOW ... there's also the beautiful view to enjoy as the train moves along.

So I hope there's no more elements to add in this train ride thing, at least for now, this would do. Tell me you don't have John Mayer's song in your head when you read this... Stop This Train is such a beautiful song, eh?

My train is going a tiny wee bit too fast right now, I'm feeling a bit nauseous. For you, I hope you're having a pleasant ride and enjoying it. Cheers.

BADASS QUOTE from a motion picture #1

"When you decide to be something, you can be it. That's what they don't tell you in the church. When I was your age they would say we can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?"

Frank Costello,

The Departed., Scorcese (2006)

Cheesy life philosophy entry no.2

"Antara bego sama baik, garisnya tipis banget, sob!"

Spontaneously said in Paris's Metro, in one of those convos I had with my energy drink.